The View From My Knees

The Sound From My Knees #35

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Running Time: 56 minutes

Show Notes

• I discuss the results of my Do You Swallow poll.
• Next I go into a long discussion of my advice to a reader on giving hand jobs, including my suggestion that girls start carrying individual lube packets or small bottles of lube when going on dates for a little hand job help..
• I read through Babeland’s article How To Spice Up Your Sex Life and discuss sex board games. Have you played any good sex board games?

As always, if you have any questions, comments, or reviews while we’re not on the air you can call the voicemail line at 206-350-6955. And join us in the chat room every Sunday night at 8pm Seattle/Pacifictime so you can call in and be a part of the fun!

Hi Misty,
I feel kind of awkward when I give my man a hand job. How can I improve my technique?

First of all, good for you for seeing hand jobs as more than just something teenagers do in the backs of steamed-up cars. The hand job is often overlooked, and it’s a damn shame. When done right, it can be a fantastic addition to foreplay, and it can even be the main event for a nice change.

The most important aspect of the hand job is lubrication. Unlike women(1), most men(2) don’t produce enough lubrication of their own to facilitate a good hand job, but a dry hand job isn’t pleasurable to give or receive. Before you start, squirt a bit of lube into your hands, and hold it in your palm for a moment to warm it up. If you don’t have any actual lube handy and you’re not planning on having intercourse, you can use some household items as lube. I’ve had good experience with baby oil in the past. Just remember that oils and creams not meant for sex can cause vaginal infections, so if you’re planning on moving on to more contact you’ll just want to stick to good old-fashioned spit.

In my opinion, when giving a good handjob you should start by teasing his inner thighs and gently cupping and massaging his balls rather than going straight for the cock. However, Lucky maintains that some initial cock contact can be good in one of two ways: 1) guys don’t always want to be teased – though there’s also a time and a place for that – so you might just want to start further in, or 2) it’s like a video game where they start you with all of your powers to give you an idea of where you’re going, but then they strip them all away and you have to work back up to the full deal. Whether your start there or do some teasing first, you should begin your work on his cock with nice slow strokes up and down the shaft with one hand, as if it’s a tongue licking straight up one side, over the head, and then down the other side. Watch out for the absolute tip of the penis; if you hit the opening to the urethra in the wrong way, well, that’s bad. Then gently grip the shaft at the bottom with one hand and use the other to do some very slow strokes up and down. You want to start slow to build it up, don’t skip straight to the fast pumping. I think that the important part of this is that it’s a progression of both coverage and friction; there’s room for variation in the details of teasing technique as long as you’re working from a minimum to some plateau in each of those aspects.

As you work his shaft and head try out some different techniques to give him a wide range of different sensations and solicit feedback from him. “Do you like that, baby?” “How does that feel on your big, hard cock?” A few techniques to try:

• Extend your fingers so that both of your hands are flat and put one on each side of his penis, then rub them up and down his cock.
• Position one or both hands lengthwise on his cock and do long slow strokes up and down. When you get to the base of his penis run over a little bit and stroke his balls on your way back up. When you get to the tip of his penis rub the heel of your hand(s) around the top.
• Instead of wrapping your entire hand around his cock, try just using your thumb and index finger.
• Alternate with short strokes at the base of his cock with short strokes around the head.
• Use both hands to twist in opposite directions as you move up and down his cock. BE SURE YOU HAVE PLENTY OF LUBE!
• Occasionally run you palm over the top of the head. But don’t do this a lot at once because it can overstimulate the very sensitive corona (think of this as the equivalent to a woman’s clit).

Ultimately, I think it’s important to remember that, regardless of which techniques you’re using, they are at their best in an experience that’s a fluid, integrated whole. Don’t spend too much time thinking about particular techniques as if they’re individual phases with precise steps. This is cooking, not baking.

Don’t get too focused on the cock
Whenever you’re using just one hand on his cock, use the other to explore other parts of his body. Gently tweak his nipples, cup his balls, and even grip his ass. Try gently pressing on the perineum, as this can be a pleasurable pressure point on many men. If he’s game for exploration, you could even gently run a well-lubed fingertip around the opening to his anus while you work his cock with your other hand. If he seems to really be enjoying the sensation, suggest that you take it a little further. “You like my finger around your ass, don’t you baby? You want me to slip it in, you naughty boy?”

Play with toys
Sex toys are not just for girls. You can introduce a simple bullet vibe for some extra sensations. Start by running it around his balls and inner thighs (beware of the vibrator knocking the balls around too much; you’ll want something with a tight vibration for that area), then move to the shaft and gently slide it up and down each side. Run it around the head a few times and then back down and around his balls. Some guys like the way the vibrations feel when held gently around the perineum or when used to tease his anus. Fukuoku’s vibe is great for this because it slips onto your finger and you don’t have to worry about holding on with a lubed-up hand. Masturbation sleeves can also be a fun addition to a hand job. Just slide a well-lubed sleeve around his hard cock and go to town.

The Finale
When you’re ready for the grand finale, pick a technique and stick with it. Too much changing around can interrupt his buildup and make it difficult for him to come. My tried-and-true method to get him off is to hold the base of his cock with one hand and wrap the other around his shaft. Then, twist your hand up and down his entire cock. Start off at a gentle pace, and then slowly increase your speed until you’re at a nice fast pace. Be careful not to grip too tightly! Many guys hate the death grip, and those that love it will usually tell you to grip his cock more tightly. Look him in the eyes (you should be doing this a lot throughout the act, anyway) and tell him him much you love his cock, how big it is, and how much you want him to come for you. He’s sure to blow his load in no time.

I hope these tips help you feel more confident about handling your man’s junk. I also suggest asking him to masturbate for you so you can watch how he handles his own penis. It’s hot AND informative! You can also get some ideas for various techniques at handjobadvice.com. And maybe some of my readers will share their tips and tricks in the comments below.

Dear Misty,

I have a question about threesomes. I may be lucky enough to be involved in one soon for the first time and I’m a little unsure about what to do when I’m ready to come. How do I choose which girl to come with? Will one girl get her feelings hurt if I come with the other girl? I assume you’ve been in a few threesomes here and there. How did you guys figure that part out?

Jocko

My first piece of advice, Jocko, is to stop worrying about it so much. If you get yourself too psyched up about this big event your nerves may get the best of you and deciding where to leave your load will be a moot point, if you catch my drift. With sexual situations it’s usually best to just go with the flow and let things happen naturally. But if it’ll help put some of your fears to rest, I’ll do my best to answer your question.

Part of what may determine which girl gets your creamy gift is your relationship to them. If you’re in a relationship with one of the girls then the two of you should have a talk before the event to go over any rules, fears, or guidelines about how things should go. Use this opportunity to ask if she has a preference for what happens when you’re ready to come. She may not care at all, in which case you can just do what comes naturally when the time is right. But if she has any feelings about it you should be sensitive to her wishes. Even if you fear the other girl might get her feelings hurt, you owe it to your partner to put her feelings first. Honestly, though, it’s hard to imagine the other woman would really care.

If you don’t have a relationship with either girl then I wouldn’t worry too much about which one you choose. However, if you notice during the threesome that one of the girls seems to be more into you than the other I’d suggest letting her be the lucky recipient of your load (figuratively speaking – you WILL be using condoms, I assume). There’s also a tactic that would prevent you from having to choose at all. When you feel you’re close to reaching climax, ask the girls to both suck your cock at the same time. Don’t surprise them, though, make sure they know what’s coming. Saying something like “you are both so sexy, I want to look at both of your beautiful faces while I come,” could really make the moment hot for all of you.

I hope these tips help. Maybe some of my readers have some other tips and experiences they can share in the comments field. Good luck!

Original photo by Lucky

A few weeks ago I advised reader Alphaboy on a problem he was having convincing his girlfriend to give him blowjobs more often. I’ve posted a little bit on his progress since then, and it sounds like he’s had some success. Recently, however, Alphaboy sent me a followup that got me so hot I could barely keep my hands off myself. He’s allowed me to share his story with you, so I hope you enjoy the final installment of Alphaboy’s progress:

I guess the quick update is that your idea was pretty much the best idea ever. Well, in the history of my sex life at least lol. It hasn’t really translated into more head per se, my girlfriend hasn’t really come around to suddenly loving to give head (which I didn’t think would happen anyway), but we have played the game with the remote panties a few times. Which means she’s sucked my cock a few times. Which is a brilliant development.

And now to the more detailed version. I grabbed the panties on my lunchbreak on a Friday, which was a bit risky- all afternoon I was terrified someone at work would open my bag and find them. But then it also meant that I thought about my girlfriend wearing them all afternoon. Which of course made me incredibly horny.

So I met my girlfriend after work for a few drinks, and gave her a sneaky peak into my bag to show her that I had bought them. Having a few drinks, and approaching it like this, kept it lighthearted, which was good. So anyway, we finally got home, both a little tipsy… kissing and touching, hands going everywhere as soon as we got in the door. Things progressed for awhile without even thinking of the panties, kissing and grinding against eachother. We eventually ended up naked, my fingers were working over her clit as she stroked and rubbed my cock, when I finally remembered the panties and came up for air to ask if she wanted to give them a try… Which she did. So we unpacked it and got it all worked out and she put them on, which did kill the momentum a little bit, as you probably know. But at this stage, we were both so into things it didn’t matter too much.

We were positioned with my girlfriend on her back, on the bed, with me sort of standing over her. I was of course in control, so I turned them on low and she jumped a little, not expecting it. She obviously enjoyed it though, because her first words were “oh wow”… I kept it on low for a little, stroking my cock slowly as I watched her enjoying the vibrations. Still stroking my cock, I knelt beside her and took a nipple in my mouth, sucking and biting… as I suddenly flicked it up a notch. This made her jump again and gasp, this time all she said was “fuck”… I stood, and as I stroked my cock, I rubbed my cockhead over her tits, smearing my precum over her nipple, and then smacking my hard cock down on it. She was moaning quite a bit now, and moing on the bed, so I thought it would be a good time to turn it back down. And of course she wanted it back up higher, so I teased her a little and turned it up and down, and even off for a little bit… Until she said “ok ok, give me your cock, stop fucking teasing me” lol. So I moved right up beside her, still standing as she lay on her back… She turned her head and I pushed my cock into her mouth. As I did, I turned the panties back on, on low… Her tongue flicked over my cockhead and up the underside, eventually just sucking on the head a little. I pushed in a little deeper, and her mouth opened for me. Fuck it felt good feeling her warm, wet mouth on my cock, and it’s making me hard as I write this so I’m trying to concentrate lol! I didn’t wait long to turn the panties back up to medium, and she immediately moaned on my cock. Her hands were massaging her tits, pinching and pulling on her nipples. Her moans vibrated around my cock and felt amazing. At this point, we were both completely in the moment. I started talking to her more, saying things like “that’s right baby, suck my cock”, telling her how hot she looked, asking if the panties felt good, if she was going to be a good girl and cum for me etc etc… I suddenly turned them up higher, and she really growled into my cock which was so fucking hot. She was just concentrating completely on her impending orgasm pretty much, which left me to basically work my cock in and out of her mouth as she moaned and writhed on the bed. I put one hand on the back of her head as I pushed in deeper, didn’t push too deep, but was fucking her mouth nicely… I turned it back down just to tease her a little, then brought it back up to high which pushed her over the edge. When she came she really sucked on my cock hard, and her hands grabbed my ass and pulled me right into her…. God it was hot. I turned the panties off to give her a break, and she jerked me until I came all over her tits.

So yeah, it worked. The panties were a really fun idea, and raising that idea with me getting more head kept a possibly touchy subject lighthearted. And she enjoyed the panties, I enjoyed head, so a great result. The few more times we’ve used it I honed the skill of teasing I think, to the point where she’s been begging to suck my cock so I turn the vibrations on or up… Which is like the hottest thing ever. So yeah… waddya think?

I think you two are hot, that’s what I think! And I’m going to get myself a pair of those panties…

Dear Misty,
What should I look for as warning signs before performing oral on someone?

I’m not a doctor. Hell, I’ve never even fucked a doctor. All I am is a girl that like to have a lot of sex, a girl who likes to read about sex, and a girl who likes to write about sex. That said, I’m also a girl who likes to do a little research on the Internet. Your question is something that I personally think about from time to time, as well. We’re all adults here, so by now we know that oral sex is not without risks. STI’s can be contracted via oral sex. And, just like with vaginal and anal sex, simply looking for telltale signs on your partner isn’t going to protect you. Many, if not most, STI’s are not symptomatic, or have symptoms that can easily be mistaken for something else so that you or your partner may not even realize an infection is present. The real answer? Just use protection. Every time. Period.

But you’re not going to, are you? No matter how many times we’re told that there is risk of infection from oral sex, most of us continue to believe that it won’t happen to us. Sure there’s risk, but it’s so small I don’t really have to worry about it. I always use condoms for anal and vaginal sex, so I’m safe. Well, here are a few facts that might make you think twice:

Herpes can be easily transmitted via oral sex

The transmission of herpes requires no fluids, only skin to skin contact. And, while the risk of transmission is highest during an outbreak, the virus can be present in the skin when no sores are present.

Go Ask Alice: Oral sex and herpes — a triple header

Oral STI’s can cause cancer

HPV, an extremely common STI that can cause genital warts and cervical cancer, has been linked to throat and oral cancer in partners of infected individuals. Although there is a vaccine for this virus that has been approved for women, there is no cure and currently there is no test or vaccine available for men.

About.com: The Role of HPV in Throat and Oral Cancers

HIV can be passed via oral sex

You know that HIV is present in semen, but did you also know that it is present in precum? That means that transmission is possible even if the man does not ejaculate in his partner’s mouth. HIV is also present in vaginal fluid. Additionally, cuts or sores in the mouth (even the irritation that can occur from brushing and flossing) increases the risk of transmission both for the giver and receiver.

About.com: HIV and Oral Sex

Alright, alright! We get it. There are risks with oral sex. Now what?

Well, that’s up to you. You know how to protect yourself. Now you just have to decide what risks you’re willing to take.

End of lecture.